I want this writing to be my lifetime reminder, to what ever situation I’m facing, no matter how good or bad my day is, I just want to remember this.
I am so lucky today I met someone that inspires me a lot, about design, but turns out it affects me how to see life in the RIGHT perspective. I am very grateful, that actually in this 20, I see a lot of things, that maybe not much people see this in my young age.
I had a very serious relationship, once, and realise that human is not the right place to put your faith on, but it is in God, only. I met, enough, mature guys who cheated on their wives, but showing very good acting & loving in front of her. I met so many people faking their happiness, wealthy, glorious in life, the fact that they feel nothing but extremely lonely. And so many people, who’s trying so hard, to impress people, with anything they can fake, they fake it, but the fact that they have nothing, literally nothing but self-disappointment, and endless craving for worldly things.
But in the other side, I also met people with a very generous, honest, sincere heart, but still they make enough to live properly, and a few them, more than enough. Please note this, it is possible, to get enough.. just because we’re living on the RIGHT track. In fact, you will also fill your heart, with love, gratitude, self-respect, self-love, realising that you actually have touched so many people. It feels like.. nothing else in this world. Money, position, million of followers, sophisticated clothes, branded bags and shoes, only gives you temporary pleasure, so temporary that you can’t imagine. You will always feel thirsty, and crave and crave and crave for more, but it gives you nothing, but emptiness.
I’ve been searching the wrong way. For 20 years, I’ve learned so much about life, and I know I will learn more and more, in the coming age. But I really want to practice this belief for my whole life. I promise I will. I will read this writing again if I ever feel like I started to lose myself to temporary things in life.
Even I realise this funny thing today. There will always be someone who’s better than you. Always. So if you bragged so much about yourself, people may be impressed for a minute. But the minute they found out someone greater than you, they will see you as a literal trash, although there are also many people that’s worse than you.
BUT, in the other hand, even, when you just have this average skills, or things, or whatever it is, but you act so kind, so generous, you touch people heart, they will see you 10x bigger than you actually are. I know that sounds weird, but I realise it in this position after I met many kinds of people, I become wiser and wiser each day, how to live the way I want to.
I didn’t say that this is the right thing in life, people see things differently, raised from different background, but here’s my personal belief. I promise, I will be a very skilled person in the subject I love, I will work so hard in the right track, the right procedure, and not taking the shortcut if it’s against the rule, you can take the shortcut if there’s a staircase in it. But if you put other people’s head as a staircase, and you step on it, you are a demon. I will share my knowledge, share my experience, to help others, whoever it is I can help, I will make sure that I leave no room for jealousy, cheating, lies, bad intentions, tricks, faking what I actually don’t have, and living an honest and passionate life. I will never count people’s opinion about this way of living, let they judge what they want to judge. They only judge from their level of knowledge and their own capability. And my God knows that this way is what He leads me to, this past few years, those hard days, it leads me here.
I’m 20. And I don’t want to be controlled by money, position, praises, hedonistic, and jealousy. I want to be a good, good, good, both heart and skill. I will be the best in my jobs, yet I want to be that person with the kindest heart, to share my tiny knowledge if I can share it to help others. I want to fill my life with goodness, with something that, i know, it will never change the world, it may never change someone’s life, but I know that I will make it a better place. To start what’s be started, to pay it forward, and I let God do the rest. And I know he will see this as something he should protect and support. I trust Him a lot, and I’m not afraid to be dare to claim it as my life’s purpose started from the minute I write this post. I know it wont be easy, my past was full of fake superficial things. I thought it’s the point of living, impressing people, filling your bank account, buying expensive and branded things, raising your followers as many as you can, honey, it gives me nothing but a really really painful emptiness. It is, just, wrong.
So i will end this writing here, because I think I have said it all. Lastly, you are on the right track just by realising this today. And you’re halfway to go. Good bye, and good luck!